"NOT TO BE CONFUSED WITH TELEPHONE POLES, FISHING POLES, THE NORTH POLE OR POLE CATS"
"Hi. I was wondering if you would be willing to take a poll for me and answer my questions honestly?" Pollster, MEY DIDUP asked an ordinary citizen on a street in West Memphis,Tennessee.
"I dunno, that depends on what you're willing to pay me. I just got out of the slammer last week for
taking a pole and I don't want to get caught again." Ordinary Citizen replied.
"What?! I've never heard of a person going to jail for taking a poll. That sounds awfully strange. Is that a joke? You should see a lawyer. There isn't anything illegal about taking a poll. Where did this take place anyway?! You didn't hit the poll-taker did you?" Asked MEY DIDUP.
"No, I'd never hit a pole-taker. I was at a store see, minding my own business and the store manager told a cop that that he saw me take a pole. I told the cop it wasn't me but he put me in handcuffs and hauled me off to jail anyway." Complained Ordinary Citizen.
"Huh?! Do you mean to say that the store manager didn't give the poll taker permission to be in the store to take polls and did the cop arrest the poll-taker too?" A bewildered MEY DIDUP said.
"Naw, I told the cop to go find the real guy who took the pole, but he insisted that it was me. I was real upset about that!" Ordinary Citizen shot back.
"You were just answering questions from the poll-taker. Something sure sounds odd. Anyway, you appear to be an outstanding honest citizen so please allow me to ask you a few questions. Do you believe that poll takers are honest in what they report?" Quizzed MEY DIDUP.
"I suppose I could answer a few questions. I have the utmost respect for pole-takers and I know that they are real honest. You should try it yourself. It's fun taking poles. Why don't you get your own pole instead of me taking one for you. That way, you wouldn't need to pay me nuthin' for taking a pole." Ordinary Citizen exclaimed.
"I'm confused. I am already a poll taker! I was hired by the "POLL-TAKER'S SOCIETY OF AMERICA", to conduct a survey. Sometimes, if I don't like what a person says, I just make up what they should have said. A lot of times I telephone people but they don't like that, so I just jot down what I would have said if they had called me and asked the question. I just put down what people want to hear. Our society of poll takers usually make up everything that you hear in the media, that way it makes the companies that hire us happy and we get paid. People just don't like us to bother them, they don't have a sense of humor, so we have no choice but to make stuff up. When people hear these reports on television or in newspapers, like who the majority of people are voting for and other stuff, they go along with our results and believe everything that we say. It's a fun job because there are only 50 members in our society and we get together on a subject and agree on it. We pretend that's what the majority of people are receptive to. Having that kind of influence is loads of fun! We actually only talk to each other but on the rare occasion that someone actually agrees with us, we will include that in our results." Stated MEY DIDUP.
"HEY, I wanna join your your group, I think just like you do. I'm a great pole taker myself and I really did take the pole from the store. Where do I sign up.?" An excited Ordinary Citizen asked.
COULD IT BE THAT POLL-STERS ARE REALLY POLE-STERS?