"I almost didn't recognize you in that dress and make-up MR. PRESIDENT. May I say that you look very extinguished in that outfit! It must be a special occasion I assume. Whatever inspired you to start wearing dresses and make-up. I think you look outstanding, however, not to be critical, wouldn't you agree that your perfume is slightly overbearing?" Coughed reporter Oklay Dokie.
"Oh thank you for the compliment. That is very flattering of you to have noticed. I try to look my best as I have important duties to fill around here now. I like feeling pretty and making myself up. Ever since I was the President, I used to sneak around and put on girls make-up and dresses. That's the reason people thought I was fooling around with my secretary. I wasn't though, I got caught wearing some of her silky pink panties and she got mad about that and made up a bunch of lies just to embarrass me. Well, you know the story on that one. That was just awful, going through the impeachment process just because she was mad about the pink panties. If I had known that it was going to upset her, I probably could have chosen the silky blue pair. I just like pink better. All I was doing was minding my own business smoking my cigar and lo and behold she walked in on me in the Oval Office. I thought the door was locked, in fact I know that it was. She probably picked the lock, believe me, I don't lie about anything. Anyway, now that Hillary wears the pants around here, I thought it was quite fitting to wear dresses." Bill exclaimed. "By the way my perfume is called 'ODE-O'-TOILETEE', I think it makes me smell fragrant."
"It must be quite the role to play, being the "FIRST HUSBAND" I suppose. Do you call her MRS. PRESIDENT or just plain HILLARY?" Asked reporter Olay Dokie.
"Golly, I hope that she doesn't overhear us! That's a real problem. She insists that I call her "QUEEN HIGHNESS MAJESTIC MADAM PRESIDENT HILLARY." That's not fair. When I was President she just called me BILL. It really stinks and it makes me feel like chopped liver. She doesn't refer to me as the "FIRST HUSBAND"....Hillary calls me the "FIRST HAS-BEEN", and that really hurts. Hillary embarrasses me in public too. When someone asks me a question, she does all the talking for me. If I try to say anything, she gives me a look that could freeze the earth over." BILL sobbed.
"No kidding? Say, I notice people have started calling the both of you the "HILL-BILLYS OF THE WHITE HOUSE", what's up with that?" Reporter, OKLAY DOKIE quizzed.
"That name really hurts my feelings. Some idiot writer from "THE LAUGH TIME", wrote a story and came up with that one. He probably thought it would be real funny,..........YEAH, REAL FUNNY, HA, HA, HA, STUPID JERK MORON!" Cried BILL.
"I hear that when Hillary does her work outs, you do the Presidential duties in the Oval Office. Also, I heard you thought it was a fantastic idea for her to claim CANADA a 'TERRITORY' of the UNITED STATES. Is that true MR.PRESIDENT?" Asked reporter Olay Dokie.
"I'll tell you the truth. She doesn't have a sense of humor and that's not a joke." BILL whispered, "She scares the heebie jeebies out of me! Hillary has me cleaning out the sinks three times a day after she shaves her whiskers in the Oval Office bathroom! I never said I thought CANADA should be made a 'TERRITORY' of the UNITED STATES and I never said I thought it was a fantastic idea either. Really, I don't have any say in what she does. If I don't agree with her on everything, Hillary gets mad, she starts screaming and yelling at me. I spend most of my time trying to hide from her. It's just horrible around here." BILL wept.
"Gee, I'm sorry to hear that MR. PRESIDENT. I had no idea things were that bad for you. I'm sure the nation would be outraged and sympathize with you if they only knew how mean Hillary treats you. Well, I'll leave now and let you have a good cry." Snickered Oklay Dokie.
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