As REPORTED by WIN D. CHIMES
at television station WWW
"I understand that you are responsible for incorrectly reporting the latest weather conditions." Reporter WIN D. CHIMES clearly stated. "It appears, MISS DIZZY DOPPLER, that you haven't been accurate in forecasting any climate changes for some time now. Do you even look outside before your live broadcast and aren't you responsible for an accurate report?"
"I really don't need to, I have a map behind me and I get the stuff I say from the chef whether guy. Anyway, it takes me hours to prepare for the show. It's not easy being the whether girl. It takes me a long time to brush my long blond hair, put on mascara and deciding what I'm going to wear. It's a real hard job. The station always tells me I'm responsible when anything happens and it's really awfully nice of them to say so. It makes me feel important!" Blinked weather girl DIZZY DOPPLER through thick sticking eyelashes.
"I don't think you really understand the weather business. I believe that you meant to say
weather girl, it's not whether girl. Your chief weather guy, isn't a cook either. He is called a
meteorologist. He gives you weather maps and colored weather charts to follow too! So what seems to be the problem with your broadcasting reports?" Reporter, WIN D. CHIMES asked dryly.
"Ooh, I perspire to become a meatoroljist myself but I'm flooded with mail from my fans. It takes me a long time to read all of them so I don't have the time to become one right now. I never learned my colors so I don't know what the colors mean on the whether charts. I'd have to go to a charter school or something like that. I'll bet you didn't know that the whether map behind me isn't really a map that's hanging up. It took me weeks to figure out it's really just a big green thingy, it's like magic they way they do it too! I have to look at something called a montoror that has big words andother stuff on it. I try real hard to read. I have to use my pointy finger to show the whether on that green thingy and my finger gets real tired. It's the hardest job I've ever had. It's the thinking part that's hard. Like, 'ya know the stuff that falls from the sky sometimes and makes your hair not look so good, the things that go boom and the other thingies that spin around real fast. I know all about umbrellas though, they come in different sizes and colors, I think. I get to tell the fans weather or not they will need one or not. Boy. it's a tough job that's no joke." said wide eyed DIZZY DOPPLER.
"Look miss sunshine, I don't mean to burst your bubble, but the stuff that falls from the sky is called rain, the things that go boom is called thunder and the things that spin real fast are called tornadoes. The thing you read from is called a tele-prompter, it's a screen with words that you read from. I think you're kind of wet on the weather. What did you do before you got this job and became a weather girl?" WIN D. CHIMES asked heatedly.
"You can just call me DITZY, that's what they call me around here, it's short for DIZZY. I wouldn't tell on the prompter though and before I came here I was a cheerleader. I got to spin, jump up and down, and shake my bottom at the crowds, until I broke a fingernail. Want to see it....I saved it right here in my pocket?! Anyway, the manager of this television station was there when I broke my fingernail and he offered me this job. He said that I have a lot of potential and he said I have what it takes to be a great whether girl. He taught me a lot of stuff, like how to point at that green thingy behind me and pretend that there is a real whether map. He's real smart. Hey, do you want to be friends, I like to make friends?! Maybe we could have a sleep-over and tease each others hair and talk about all kinds of stuff.
I like talking, do you like talking too, wouldn't that be fun?! huh, huh, do you want me to show you some of my cheerleading moves?" DIZZY DOPPLER asked excitedly.
"Uh, okay DITZY. I fail to see any humor in this, thanks anyway for the offer but no thanks. I don't think that we have anything in common. But I guess we'll always have the WEATHER together, WHETHER I like it or not! Reporter, WIN D. CHIMES said cooly.